Had To Leave.

Hello people,I'm gonna rock KL to gempar bumi as I reach there tomorrow afternoon.10a.m bus going!!And I'm darn excited~
I haven't pack ma thingy yet and I'm still in the mood of blogging.I really sweating!The office work haven't finish yet.Ma school stuff is half way being dumped on ma bed.I really sweat~
Ma father is nagging beside me asking me to bring this and that.This medicine and that vitamin.OMFG!
Mr.Lim Boon Dee,I'm a big girl now,kay!?I know what to bring,and I went to lotsa lotsa place without you also ma.Tak nampak you risau begitu banyak pun.This time come kacau kacau pulak!Bo beng pek nia~
Kay,then I'm frustrating how much $$$$$$ will ma father gives me to KL and Genting Highland,and this time is the first trip I'm going for so long without ma parents or relatives supervision.So $money$ is kinda important for big girls in KL for shopping!Haha...
I'm missing him like siao.Dunno whether I had the chance to online or send mail or not!?Hopefully I can before he's going to PLKN la.Haiz~
Gtg ady la,pack ma stuff and finish up the unfinished stuff!!
Chaoz~

P/M AARRGGHHH,I MISS HIM!

Nothing Much,Just Miss him To Death.

I'm having a flu ryte now,and how am I suppose to enjoy ma splendid holidays in KL and Genting Highland!?God oh God,pleaseee cure me b4 the day after tomorrow...I was planning to go crazzzeeyy before ma SPM next year!Arrgghhhh...
Oh ya,I was suppose to be happy bcoz yesterday we chatted till 5.45a.m la wei...That was the record!Haha...Although it was not a long chat but then still glad that he climb up from bed just to accompany me.Terima kasih manyak banyak la wei!
Actually I was still very unhappy of thinking that we dun have the chance to meet ady!It makes me of having a feeling of banging my head towards the wall,sweat~
I was suppose to be in bed now as ma lil sis and ma lil bro will go to Genting Highland for their splendid holidays along with ma mom tomorrow morning at 7o'clock(I dunno whether I can wake myself up or not!).Ma elder brother is driving them to the bus station and I'm following along as ma I'd f*ckinly lost ma purse AGAIN,and this is the third time.I have to go to the minister department tomorrow for the I/C renewal or else I'm not gonna enjoy ma holiday for approximately two weeks.Bcoz why!?Kerana ma heart's not gonna be peace as my I/C's used to be with with me wherever I go.So,if it's not with me for two weeks,then what if the police suddenly feels like I'm a terrorist then require to check ma I/C and it's not with me.Then I'll be freaking scared or I'll be sent to dunno where or maybe jail!?Oh God,I tak berani!!After ma I/C renewal,ma elder brother is going to Hatyai for "sembahyang" with his friends!Haha...I dunno how to explain,but then it is something like that la.
Oh ya,I went to Tesco for shopping just now.Bought two pair of sandals which is COLOURFUL!!Then ma favouritieeee Elianto nail colour and some stickers for ma nails.I'd bought a sky blue and a lime green.Geeeezzzz....The lime green was like "pontianak"!Haha...And the stickers are cuuteee~

My lil brother is nagging me for not watching movie with him as I'm the one who asked him to accompany me,and he ended up watching by himself.Haha!What a bad sis am I!?
Chaoz!

P/S AARRGGHHH...STILL MISSING HIM!!

Time Wont Wait For Us~

Start my post with a sigh~
Bcoz why!?Kenape??
Kerana we no chance meet ady la.WTF!!!
He's going somewhere then to PLKN and I'm going KL then to Genting Highland!Dunno when is the next time we gonna meet...
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want ki siao liao!!
God oh God...Macam mana to meet him ar!?Tell me a way and I'll immediately go for it!
SIGH!!!
I'm chatting with him now actually...
SIGH AGAIN~

No mood to blog ady...
Chaoz

P/S MISS HIM MUCH!

Funny and Scary Stuff at the Same Time...

I slept at my grandmama's house yesterday,and it was fun!I had crazy time with ma crazy couzies,ate lotsa food and enjoy chatting and enjoy the chilhood thingy.We went to the night market at AS Mall.I dunno how to comment the night market but then the thingy sold there really.....
Disappointing~
We only ate some food there,oh ya...A funny incident happened there!
The story begin with,one of my cousin felt like eating the so called "ang-mo durian"!So we walked to the stall.Then she asked for the price,than the uncle said RM5 per kilo.The stall left only two on the table.We pointed the one we chose and ask the uncle for the price.He took the "ang-mo durian" and weigh for us,while he is weighing,he talked to the other stall's uncle.Haha...
He took the other "ang-mo durian" on the table but not the one he weigh.I was weird why is he doing that.Then told myself that maybe their sizes are the same.So he put the one on the table in the plastic!After that he said,RM10!My cousin pull out a RM10 and gave it to him.We walked away and curiosity asked ma cousin why is he doing that!Then ma cousin asked me back the same question.Then both of us convinced each other that two of the "ang-mo durian" are the same size.
Then hahahhahahhaa~
I have a secret actually,I'm a good listener,doesn't mean I can listen to people's secret or what.But I can hear what people says from far!Trust me,dun talk bad about me whenever I'm around.Serious~
Continue the funny story...
I heard the uncle said that my cousin and me are weird for not taking the one he weigh!I was like WTF!!!He's the one who gave us the one on the table instead of the one we chose.Then I told my cousin what I heard,we laugh till squad on the floor for awhile~
That uncle is weird,very very weird~
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
After we laughed,then we walk back to the place where ma sister and other couzies are waiting for us,we share the joke together!And then all of us ended up laughing darn loud together...
I really sweat with the uncle,PHEEEWW~

After the night market,we went back and they played the traditional mahjong outside while I'm inside a room and online.And something damn happened!!!We webcam and then he saw something which I dun expect him to see.
At first...He saw a leg and hand moving on ma right when I was alone in the room!I was like OMG!My heart beat like crazy as I'm gonna die~
Then he joke joke joke and then I forgotten the thingy!
Manatau second incident come again,that is the moving wall or even cupboard behind me moved by itself!WTF~
That really freaks me out,he saw everything!But I dun even saw anything...I sms ma sister and ask her to cum in the room and helped me.She came in and close the cupboard then ended being scolded by her that we are stupid for talking nonsense.Sweat!
Forget bout it,I'm going to temple tomorrow bcoz I really feels uncomfortable and windy after that incident!Haha...

Then comes to ma feelings part...
I'm happy to chat with him as usual after I'd told him everything!It's awkward at first but after that everything goes happy.He danced,sing,show me some fighting stuff and even show me the funny face as well in front of the webcam.SWEAT~
We chatted till 5a.m.HELLO EVERYONE IT'S 5A.M!!Haha....
Syiok!!!
K la,have to sleep ady as I have to prepare ma next year's school re-open stuff.Uniforms,school shoes,bags and books stuff as I'm not gonna be in AS from 23 December till 3 January!Celebrating my Christmas in KL and New Year Eve in Genting Highland!Teehee~
Looking forward for the holidays with two of ma couzies and Miss Diane!I'd even bought the ticket.Haha!!!
Chaoz everyone...

P/S I'm still waiting for him to nudge me,haiz~

Tired of realities.

I dun update my blog for this few days bcoz I really need to make up my mind,clear them and format everything until now only I decided that it's time for a new post!
Ma friends came to me just now for a chat,and this is my very first experience sharing thought with a male friend about the word "L.O.V.E"!
This made me have different point of views!He's actually was not the type of person I expect him to be,but then to the opposite side,he's much more better than I expected!He just feel so distress about his feelings and really dunno what to do.That's when I truely felt his feelings towards the girl he loves so much.He told me how was his feelings especially when I felt that he is really sad.I sat beside there,wondering what should I say.Should I just shut the hell up or gives some advise or whatsoever!I was scared that what if I said the wrong thingy again(That's what I usually do,I know I'm stupid!).What if that makes him even more sad?That is why love is hard to define in words but to feel with heart.
Haiz~
Well for my opinion,that girl dun deserve his love at all.She's a shame to all the girls around the world and she shouldn't be a girl! I know I'm slightly a little rude but then she really s*ckss!How can she treated a guy who loves her so much with lies and bad attitudes?Dun she feel bad bout herself?Weird la she~
If any guy would sacrifice his love towards me or even loves me as how my friend to that s*cky girl,I swear to God by my name that I rather shorten ma life's for a year!That's was my word.
I never met any guy who would done that for me,even if I had!They may just walked by ma life.
I'm tired of this life,I dun mean it's meaningless!But then the realities really made me feel disgusting and irritated.Just felt a little tired of this life and it's time to relax ma mind and think of ma future path.Whether I'm suitable to be in a relationship or not,whether I'm someone's cup of tea or not,whether who's gonna be ma Mr.Right or whether how would people define the word "L.I.F.E"!
I'd learnt alot this few days,how to accept the truth,the realities,ma wrong,ma right,the straight,the narrow,the ups and downs!I felt like a year in a day and keep thinking and thinking what I was trying to seek,the answers!Then I found out that answers aren't important.What's important was happiness!
Oh ya,an accident happened just now morning and I dun really know where was the destination!Haha...Lame nia~
There was a father and his daughter on a motorcycle and they was infront of a lorry of mud or sand(Just imagine how big was the lorry).Then the stupid darn lorry driver just sped trough the traffic light when it turned red!What the f*ck~
Then banged on the pity father and daughter!That darn driver still dun stop and continued to drag the father and daughter!WTF AGAIN!
Then he run down the lorry and gone away,this was the f*ckest side.If I was there,I'll definately used everything ma father teached me in ma Muay-Thai lesson and beat him to death!He's such a jerk~
Then leave behind the father was dead immediately on the road and his daughter survived from a broken neck,nose and some bone which I dunno how to explain!(Can you imagine how pain was that for a young girl whom aged 23!?)
Wanna know how I knew this news?Haha...
It was from a hairstylist of ma couzies!She told us and I was shouting "yerr...yeee...OMG!" all the way she ceritA...Really pitty la wei!Haiz,she still can do lots of stuff in her bright future!What a pity~
This makes me afraid of motorcycle!Haiyo~
And also remind me of him!He was on motorcycle quite often.Guy's usually loves to speed which I dun really understand!!And started to worry of his safety,why am I so kepo!?Cham nia~
Oh ya,he came too just now to ma house but we chatted not more than ten words!Awkwards la wei,really ttooottt nia~~
I still misses him everyday!What to do!?Feelings!!
Gtg,chaoz~

P/S I STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM!

Afterall.

Honestly I'm really not in the mood of blogging,but blog is created to express feelings,thats the only reason I chose to blog at the first place.
Guess what!?
I was being rejected hardly!Haha...Funny nia~
I was not planning to tell him any of my feelings,but then he read my blog and my previous post are obviously describing bout him.Screwed and kantoi!
He said that he still have feelings on his ex-girlfriend,dun have any plan to be in any relationship yet.
It may be a harsh time for me,I guess!
My tears dropped unexpectedly and non-stop when I was chatting with him even now I'm on blogging!Nobody knew that as I'm alone in the living room.I felt like stupid! I'd told myself not to fall on anyone anymore,even if I had,I promise I really not dare anymore.The feeling is complicated!Feel like dying,I really wanna bang my head towards the wall!
Wake up Miss Lim!Stop dreaming and get back to the reality of the world.You cant force people to fall for you at the same time you fall for someone.It's unfair to that someone!
I really never have this feelings on anyone but to him,I have.I'm so in love with him,I think of him before I sleep and after I woke up.Even to my ex,I still dun have that feeling!
Wake up Devon,people dun want you,so wake up and be tough!
For the first time you can get up and this second time is nothing for you!
Gtg,have to call my friend.He is also frustrating for something too!
So,I still not the kesian one yet.Haha~
Chaoz...

P/S I STILL LOVES HIM!

Happy Or Not!?

Just finish my Muay Thai lesson,tired~
I'm happy at the same time I'm unhappy!So what's my mood now?Confusion!
I'm happy for talking on phone with him yesterday night and it was for a long time.Haha!Although not till two or three hours but then also got one hour ma.Syiok pun liao la.Haha...Sendiri comfort sendiri!Siao ady.I'd talk on phone with him too,just now.But he was not in the mood so,tak mau kacau better,later kena scold free nia.Cheer up boy!You not in the mood made me feel sad.
Oh ya,I'd accidentally saw him just now!What the ttooott~
Then,I was not expecting to see him just now or maybe will see him from far la.Haha!Maniac me~
But just accidentally met him during I'm searching some tuition classes for ma couzies.Guess what?Recently parents are really crazy,children are having only once a year holidays and planned to spend their holidays wisely,but then parents had to forced their child just for tuition!Haiz~
Please be tolerant la!Hung up suicide also need some breath.Some more even threaten the child if not tuition then have to back to hometown!Allaahh...This will only ruin the child mood and even ma mood.This little cousin of mine is my favourite one.She's my "anak angkat" aka god-daughter!Haha...I know I'm too young to be a mom but we just have the same topic and thought everytime,and she's only 9 years old.You can't imagine how mature is she!The name was Bridget Chew Ee Jia.The best couzies ever and she came back only on holiday.So I only meet her in holiday time!I dun blame her mom as I know every parent will do anything just to make sure their child is in good condition.What to do?The adults are right we're always the wrong side!!
Back to ma mood,he's moody la.How!?Yeerrrr....Make me feel uncomfortable nia.Sit also cant,stand also cant,run or even dance pun tak boleh!
We chatted lots of thingy yesterday,just everything!Managed to "know" his secret.Haha~
There's a word which is forbidden from my world again!I'm too rude ady la,talk bad words then now even the word to express feeling pun sama!Have to be polite ady.Dunno can change bo!That is the word I'd replaced with "know".The word "know",I'd think for half an hour just to replace that disgusting word I'd always mentioned last time.And after he explained what's the meaning I was like eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!Haha~
Actually that word is not that disgusting but after what he said,the word makes me feel like so the very gerliii~

Cakap begitu banyak pun tak guna,still misses him!Cham nia me~
Miss Lim Devon,lu boleh bangun dari mimpi tak?Jangan tidur lagi lo,ini boleh buat kamu tak boleh bangun dari mimpi seumur hidup eh lo~
I know I'm weird for talking to myself but I just cant control from missing him.AAARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Haiz,wanna go shower then terus go tidok liao la.Meet him in dream better.Haha~
Chaozz...

P/S FALL FOR HIM IS NOT AS EASY AS I THOUGHT!

Life.

How would people define the word "L.I.F.E"?
Should it be happy or sad,ups and downs,straight and narrow?Well,I defined it as everything I'd mentioned!Had a long chat with ma lovely father just now.I'd learnt lots from him in just a chat.So as what chinese people said,"ginger is old eh spicy!".Sometimes,children should listen to the old folks,I dun mean my father is old,but he ate salt more than I ate rice.What to do!?He experienced life more than I do.
The lesson he taught me today was about something everyone would experienced at least once in a life time which is L.O.V.E!
He said that there's no such thing as two people would give the equal love to each other,maybe she gives more or even he gives more.There's always one people whom will sacrifice or gives more love than the other one.So,if a relationship works,means there must be someone who made it right.My father told me that mostly girls will give more.He even told me bout my lovely mom and his love story,what the ttoooottt!It is so the very ggerrlii,but I'm darn happy for that as I understand them even more!He even told me how are their very first kiss.Oh God~
He said that my mom and his relationship actually works because of my lovely mom!She gave love and care maybe sometime some patience in their relationship!So,he love my mom more and more each day or even lots and lots!This make me feel like slapping my father as how he describe is very geli!Feel like vomit,haha!
My father really siao ady!As how he said,this makes me feel proud of girls!
Salute char-bo aka perempuan aka girls!
Hello to guys out there,always appreciate what girls had done,or if never regret!A girl gave everything to guys but guys always have lots of stupid reasons to protect themselves which is called selfish!
Oh ya,my father even told me that guys would definately choose to avoid or ignore the problem happened in a relationship but then girls would find out what happened and search for the answer even if she had to crawl into a mice hole or even fly up to the moon(This is what my father describe to me,haha!I know it's a little boom but then I agree what he said).My father even told me that if the couple not managed to solve the problem properly,then may end with break up!Kesian~
So,I have two conclusion!
1) Guys,why would all of you having this character?Haiz~
Stop being so selfish and face whatever happened la!
2) I really afraid of being in a relation after listening to what my father had told me!Cham nia~
I just fall for a guy nia,he told me this kind of stuff to scare me off!But then I knew that the guy whom I fall for is a good guy,I have confidence on myself.Even my elder sister or his friend told me that he's good!So,wait for what?Lim Devon,just go tell him you like him la.Haha!Cakap saja senang,tak berani pun!
My father told me lots of thingy but I lazy to flash back,sorry!

Okay,now come to the part of my feelings again!Haha...
In my previous blog I'd mentioned that I will try to phone him,but then guess what?I ended up he dun answer my call.Shit nia!Maybe he was busy la.
Then yesterday tried again,then end up with kegilaan in me,he answered!Happy nia,but not for long la,coz he's on his holiday!Then just now call again,he was back!Haha...Siao liao me!
Haiz~
Not see-ing him for two days d lo,not even from far,amboiii!Miss him like siao~
Kay la,have to go rest my eyes ady.Going for a swim tomorrow!Teeehee~
Chaaoz~

P/S I STILL MISS HIM!

Sangat syiok mia hari~

Okay,let me explain why I use the word "syiok" for this post title,this is because lots of people said that I'm prettier than last time.Oh God~
This make me fly to the sky and then to the stars and wondering around up there!
HAHAHAAAAHAHA~~~
And oh ya,they also said that I am thinner,I mean slimmer,haha~
What to say?
SYIOK SYIOK SYIOK~
Just back from ma friend's sister's wedding dinner.Lots of close friends went there too!And I enjoyed myself much today,after the dinner we went to Bali Bali as well.Have my two favourite "kak tau" and cockles again!Haha...We had a big big gathering there,crazy together is the most precious thingy!
Will upload some pichas in next post.Lazy ady,my friends are outside waiting for me to sembang with them!Muahahahhaaa...
Haiz,I didnt see him today,not even from far.What the~
Miss him like siao,I didnt even phone him.This make me proud of myself!But then I'll phone him later even if he dun answer.Haha~
K la,gtg ady.Chaoz~

P/S I MISS HIM...

What To Do!?

I really hate the feeling of giving up before trying to get the answer!
I dun like being so coward,but this time really make me feeling like shit all the while.I sleep,I dream of him.I'm awake,I miss him!What the~
I saw him just now evening I was like OMG!
Such a coincidence,I was not expect to meet him today.Or maybe I'll see him from far!Haha...
I was feeling myself as a maniac la wei,gerliii nia~
Back to the point,his smile was so attractive!I waved to him,he smiled back.
Aiiyyoyo,faint nia!CHAM CHAM CHAM~~~
I tried to seek for him alot of time.But then he was so busy la,everyday enjoying his after SPM life.Going to the National Service thingy must be very distress for him,botak!Hahaha...
Three months la wei,sure will miss him like hell,even he's here also miss him ady,what if he went there?Further studies?Haha...Think too much ady,Miss Lim~
Ma besties told me that if he is seeking for someone whom is his cup of tea then he dun deserve my love,loving someone is not because of his/her physically but then his/her inside out!Ma besties even told me that if that was the person you wanted to be with then you wont even care what kind of person he or she is even if he or she is not the cup of tea or biscuit or even coffee!You'll just feel that's her/him at the first place~
Thanks for the advice besties,I really loves you like crazy!
In ma mind,he's important,he's special,he's extra-ordinary,he conquered my heart,he owned my soul.But then still missing something!I seek for that for so long,then I realize that just now when I was talking to ma besties!That is the gap between the special someone and me.
He's was like trying to avoid me recently,maybe I was a little annoying.But I was just trying to seek for the answer in him.I'm finding the opportunity to talk to him,but there's always no chance for me to talk to him.
I hate the feeling of giving up before asking,but then when I still have the chance to lose or still having the courages to let go,I really really wanna choose to gives up.
I'll make up my mind in two days time!This problem are making my mind getting older by a year in a day time!
Oh God~ What should I do!?
To say or not to say,confession!!

Huhh!?

Okay,I went to sleep at about 4a.m. yesterday which is counted as just now morning.Then my phone rang at 4.29a.m.I was like,wtf.Who's that early in the morning or maybe so darn late!Manatau is one of my friend.He's quite moody for some reason which is not appropriate to mentioned here.Then had a chat with him until 4.54a.m.Went back sleep again!Then sekali lagi my phone rang at 5.00a.m.Oh God!Although it's just a short 6minutes but then it really meant alot to me!I just close my eyes and maybe started to dreamt of something nia. I was like ki siao that time,reach for my phone and see who's that,manatau is the same person.Chat till around 5.30a.m!This time I went sleep terus and dun care my phone ady.I'm not angry him coz I know he sure very distress and frustrating only will seek for me eh.Cheer up friend~
Sweet dreams never goes long,woke up at 11.48a.m. AGAIN the same person.Message with him till 12.15p.m.He must be very frustrated!Haiz...I dunno how to cheer him up but then still worry bout him!
No mood to sleep ady,get my ass up and went shower.Watch movie and then go for the muay-thai lesson with ma papa!Tired like siao~
Saw him just now,although it's just from far and a distance away.But then also happy to see him doing something he loves!He looks cool though,haha~
After the muay-thai,went shower.Go to the mall to buy some house stuff and that cost ma mom like hell!!Luckily she brought her credit card,haha...Johnking(My lil bro),Diane(My elder sister),Darling(My cousin sister)and me was like crazy and put whatever we want in the trolley then reach the cashier put put put on the counter then the cashier punched punched punched everything then the price shocked all of us,RM548.78!!All of us also "cheh-kong" to see the price.But my mom was like so numb and gave the credit card to the cashier and sign her name on the resit.Salute my mom~
Love her to death!
After shopping,went to Kaede for dinner.SHUSHI time!Yummm YYUUMMM~
Back home after dinner then balik rumah,duduk sebelum my ass panas nia my father ask me to accompany him go out to check our house-to-be whether the workers had finish their job or not.Haiz!!Forced to follow him lo,what to do?I just loves him so much.
Sampai rumah,online,check friendster and mail.AGAIN,viewed his profile!!Arrgghhh~
Giler sama dia liao la me.Cham liao~
Kay la,have to go sleep ady.Coz wanna follow ma mom to shop,guess what!?
There will be some monks coming to our restaurant tomorrow,ma mom ask me to go and kepo kepo!Cham nia,actually sometimes my kepo comes from mom!Haha...
Mr.CakapBanyak,dun blame me,my mama taught me to be kepo,haha~
Actually go there just to pray pray nia la...Haha~
My eyes are closing half d,chaoozz~

P/S I MISS HIM :'(

Weeelala Weellalaa~

Okay,what to vomit today!?
I'd just back from my brother-in-law aka Diane's boyfriend birthday.I have splendid time with ma besties ofcoz.And lots of people there whom I dun even knew who they are.They are my brother-in-law's friends,bosses,or maybe people whom work the same place as him...Dunno la,haha!
Good girl gone bad!Aiyoorrrr...I drank a glass of beer and it taste like eeeewwww!
Stupid Issac forced me to drink!Shit nia~
A little dizzy!Haha...
I hate most,they had drugs!OMFG~
That makes me feel so uncomfortable sitting there with a bunch of peoples I dunno and then suddenly some strangers come and talk nonsense to me!
Oh God!Weird nia~

Then comes to the part to booom my feelings.
Guess what!? I promised not to send message or call him in the previous blog,but then maic*pung,I broke my promise and sent him message and even called him.Ish ish ish~~
Lim Devon oii,lu cheh boi?Mai kun liao lo,wake up liao lo...Dun sleep in your dream ady!Haha...
But I miss him looooo...OMG~
Wonder what is he doing now!?Hmph...
But I knew it from his close friend that he is maybe had a sleepover in another friend's house...
And then,his close friend is moody for a girl is not replying his message.
Sometime,I was weird that why a guy/gal would care for the one they liked or even loves so much.It was like so weird how a person feelings can go so strong.So God created something called love!
I always keep on asking myself,what if there's nothing called loves in this world?Could it be war around everywhere,people doing crimes without hesitation?
Cant imagine how will it be,better dun!!
Love may be pain and hurtfull,but then if sacrifice something for love one's would be definately something blissful.The feelings that cant be explained!
Talk bullshit so long also missing him,haiz~
Till here la,wanna go lye down and listen to his favourite song then continue missing him AGAIN!Haha~
Chaoz...

Arrgghhh.....

I'd done something wrong again.Oh God,forgive my sin.
I'd made two people whom never known each other into serious trouble,it may be nothing to them but then it is darn serious to me.I feel so stupid about myself,my mouth never keep quiet,why am I so busy body?Lim,just keep quiet and sit beside listen to what people say is enough d ma!Why are you so stupid?Why cant you just be clever a little bit?I hate myself~
See now what had you cause?Two people into stupid trouble just because of you!
This includes the guy I like the most,and now I feel that our distance becomes further and it maybe never get close.I feel so sorry to him.
Maybe I was the one who think too much,this is what he always keeps on telling me.He's too good to me until I felt that I'm very bad!I always seek for him whenever I wanted to without hesitate his situation or whether he hates it or not.Miss Lim Devon,people treats you as ONLY NORMAL FRIEND OF HIS!
Can you just please wake up!?Omigah...
Dunno why I just have the feeling of not telling him anything and let it be.I dun wanna disturb his life no more,I dun wanna be in his life anymore.I just brought lots of stupid stuff in him.I feel so stupid and I hate it when his mood was being distract because of me.He just finished his SPM and he should be enjoying his magnificent holidays with close friends,gone to splendid trip.Or maybe doing something which is benefit before going to his National Service,after the NS thingy,he should be on his way for further studies,never come back.We may dun have the chances to meet again.This may be the best choice!
I dun wanna forget him,I dun wanna give him any bad impression on me.I just wanna be a normal friend to him.
I wanted more than that but however I'm really not his cup of tea nor biscuit neither coffee.
How could God let me fall on him?He's just too perfect for me.
Our distance are too far away.I should not be in his life!
I promise I wont call or even text him or find him in MSN nor Friendster anymore!
I want him to be happy just because he is really happy living in his life.

P/S I LOVES HIM,and now I realize what is the meaning of missing someone!

Something Shitty Bout Me!

We was only close friends at first but then as time flows by,I realize that I dun really treat him as only normal friend!I'd went out with him a few times and the feelings became stronger and he's just all over me.I wanna see him so much and wanna know what is he doing or where is he!OMG,I hate this kind of feelings on me especially when I misses him every single moment!I never had this kind of feelings on anyone but then to him!AARRRGGHHHH~~~
We dun contact each other since yesterday.He replied only one of my message.I'm a little disappointed,I'd sent three message to him from yesterday till today but neither one of them is replied.Everytime my phone rang,my heart was beating like hell as I wanted to die and is full of excitement but when I reached for my phone,he was not the one who messaged nor called me.I reached for my phone,I closed my eyes and tell the phone to appear his name on the screen but none of them is him!
I convinced myself that maybe he is out of credit or busy! I feel so stupid of myself having only this kind of feelings myself.He dun even bother how I felt and go on with his life as normal.I hate myself for falling on him when he dun even knew about it.I hate myself for loving him when he only treated me as maybe little sister or a very normal friend of him.
I'm stupid!I onlined just to check whether he is online or not.I signed in friendster just to view his profile and this was repeated lots of times a day and it had been my daily routine.I view his blog just to check whether has he updated his blog or not.OMG OMG OMG~ Why do I have this feelings?
I'd control myself not to,but this stupid feelings just keep on telling me to sent him at least a message or try to contact him.Yes,I did!I'd managed to message and call him several times but he dun answer my call.Then everything just came up with disappointment.
I saw the friendster comment he sent or any girl had sent to him.It gave me a feeling of distress that he actually treated every of his gal friend the same way as he treated me.It was like a kind of feelings as ambiguous which I hated the most!
I chatted with his close friend yesterday and confess everything to him.His friend said that he dun really mix with girl friend and seldom praise any girl whom is pretty,but then I remembered once that he told me I was pretty in my new hair,and guess what!?I was actually very happy and feel like a bird flying in the sky.Stupid nia me.Maybe he told every girl the same way as mine,dun think too much Miss Lim!That funny guy just told me that I may be not be his cup of tea but then maybe is his biscuit or coffee.Really funny nia,anyway really thanks for cheering me up friend!
I feel like crying everytime when I was confused whether to tell him my feelings or not.What if I tell him then he rejected me,what if I tell him then we dun even bother to be friend anymore?What if he avoid me after I confess everything to him?I dun wanna lost him in my life,I mean even as a friend or whatsoever is okay with me.
He told me before once that maybe I was just having this fresh feelings of knowing a new friend,but I never had this kind of feelings on anyone before and he is the first one!And I'm sure that this is not a fresh feelings of mine.
I dun believe in true nor forever love,what I care for is present!But then with this guy,I wanna be with him like forever~
He was like a Mr.Perfect or either Mr.Right and Mr.100% to me.I dreamt of him every single day and this is not a joke!
Aiiiyyyooooo......Confused la wei!Whatever I do,whatever song I listened,whatever movie I watched,whatever fairytale I read always remind me of him!I always remind myself for never fall on anyone but then this time,I seriously like him!!
AARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~
Hate myself!!Feel like banging my head towards the wall then to hospital cuci my stupid brain!Aiyyoo,I like him la!!!